Sweven

The root of all evil for people who aren’t very self-accepting, isn’t it? People-pleasing is basically the act of working according to others’ expectations to make them happy. However, what do we really achieve from pleasing others who don’t know how to fight our battles? Do they pat you on the back when you finally find the error in your code? No, they don’t. It’s you who does that mini-dance, whether physically or in your imagination.

I have been a people-pleaser for as long as I can remember. The biggest reason why we feel the need to please others is because of the insecurities in our heads. As a kid, I didn’t fit society’s standards of beauty or slimness, and I witnessed people treating me differently because of it. I didn’t care much as a child, but most of my teenage years were spent in the pursuit of “beauty”. All I could hear was people recommending skin-brightening face masks and suggesting ideas to lose weight. I succumbed to all of it, and that’s when my unhealthy relationship with people-pleasing began.

Later when I lost a noticeable amount of weight, people started commenting that I looked “cute” as a child and now that I had lost weight, I looked sick. This judgment wasn’t just limited to my looks; people criticized every single aspect of my life. My people-pleasing self just didn’t want to disappoint anyone, and I let others take the driver’s seat in my life. People’s opinions mattered to me more than my own well-being.

The journey was hard, but I learned a lot when I realized that people-pleasing was doing me more harm than good. Sometimes, I genuinely feel grateful to have been a people-pleaser because I would never have accepted myself just the way I am and focused on improving myself solely for my own sake. Now, fitness and well-being are more important to me than hitting a number on the weighing machine.

On your darkest days, you’ll be there for yourself. Similarly, on the days you shine the most, you’ll be there too. So, building a good relationship with yourself is more important than succumbing to others’ expectations of you. None of us are perfect, and our flaws make us beautiful. Before pleasing someone else, please yourself by accepting YOU.